Comparative Perfection
by Malindorie
Summary: Sesshoumaru and Kagome talk about memories and differing notions of "perfection." SessKag if you squint:


AN: Okay, everybody, very first fanfic (nervous). Please be kind and please review if you can:) Originally written for Ebony Silk's Week 14 contest: Memory.

Oh, yeah - Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Wouldn't that be nice, though?XD

Comparative Perfection

by Malindorie

***

She spotted him resting against a tree at the edge of the meadow.

Kagome hunkered down and stretched out beside Sesshoumaru. She studied him for a moment. His face was turned away from hers; his eyes were fixed on some point in the distance. His expressionless face was beautiful in the moonlight, but it was the familiar stoic look that called to Kagome's memory.

"Do you think that you have a good memory, Sesshoumaru?"

"I cannot answer."

"Why not?"

"A ningen's idea of a 'good memory' must be very different from a youkai's. Although I may safely say that my memory would likely be considered beyond perfect by a ningen standard."

Kagome snorted. "I guess you think that since our senses are 'inferior,' our memories that depend on those senses must be of comparably poor quality?"

Sesshoumaru smiled slightly. This ningen miko never ceased to surprise him. Her ability to rationalize went far beyond anything he had ever encountered in a ningen. He was also amused by the faint annoyance in her voice. Obviously, she considered his opinion a slight to her race's abilities.

"Yes," he replied, and now turned to face her. "My opinion makes logical sense. It is not necessarily a slight to your race."

Her eyebrow raised in disbelief. "Hn," she replied with a grin.

His own eyebrows furrowed at her imitation of what she called his 'all-purpose, monosyllabic response.'

This time it was Kagome who fixed her eyes on the horizon. "Well," she said, "Your memory may be perfect (or 'beyond perfect,' she thought with an inward grin), but I think that human memories must be more emotionally perfect."

Sesshoumaru looked at her. "I do not comprehend your statement. Memories are mental records of the past; they are not emotional."

"Exactly," Kagome replied. "For me, when you stare forward with that expressionless face, it brings back memories of emotion as well as events."

Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow in a silent request for clarification.

"I mean, I remember a hundred times that I saw you look just like that," she said, "but I also remember when we were enemies, and I feared that look, because I never knew what you were thinking."

"You were not meant to," Sesshoumaru said, inwardly proud of his ability to keep his intent from others.

Kagome rolled her eyes at his arrogance. "My feelings changed when we became allies," she continued with a wistful smile. "I remember wanting to get through that look, to understand you."

Sesshoumaru remembered several instances when the miko stared intently at him across the campfire. He did not understand her scrutiny then. He smiled slightly.

"More recently, I remember feeling warm and fuzzy about seeing that look. Because we are close and any familiar expressions make me smile."

Kagome turned and eyed Sesshoumaru with intensity for a moment before continuing. "You see, your words about memory convey to me that you utilize yours to perfectly access events of the past. You probably actively discourage yourself from forming emotional associations with memory because it interferes with memory's purpose."

"I do not disagree. It is my way as a fighter and a youkai." He replied.

"Human memories are used to remember facts as well," Kagome said, turning away again, "But our most treasured memories involve emotions. Sometimes, to remember something is like living a moment all over again." She smiled serenely. "So, your memory may be sharper, even more useful than mine… but mine is more emotionally perfect - my past can live again in my head."

Sesshoumaru felt annoyingly sad for a moment – was it possible that Kagome's memory was perfect in a way his was not? And did he want his memory to be like hers?

"I think that we can learn to be more like each other," she said, as if she had read his mind. Really, her powers of comprehension were impressive. "My memory could probably do with being sharper – it might help me to be more observant – and consequently more useful in battle."

Sesshoumaru grinned inwardly. She was clumsy and frequently in need of rescuing. Perhaps if she learned to better recognize danger she could avoid being kidnapped for the umpteenth time.

"And you can let yourself associate emotions with memory – it would probably make you happier…" Kagome stopped at Sesshoumaru's consternation concerning the word 'happy.' "Er, I mean, it would make you less discontent… in general." She had her 'nervous' face on, not knowing if she'd said the right thing.

Sesshoumaru remembered that look from their early days as allies. She was very hesitant around him, always afraid that she'd say something wrong. He stretched his mind a bit for any associated emotion, while rolling his eyes at his foolishness in doing so. Aha! He'd been pleased at her carefulness when dealing with him; it showed respect for his importance in the fight against Naraku. She didn't want to upset him and cause him to leave. Hn.

In their days as enemies, he'd felt satisfied when she showed nervousness. She should show nervousness. Her usual fierce demeanor caused him confusion (she was, after all, a comparatively weak mortal), but also made his stomach jump in some unfamiliar way (which, upon reflection, he realized was unconscious admiration for her bravery).

Nowadays, when she was nervous, he sought to comfort her… subtly. He didn't like when she was nervous – he liked her better happy and smiling. He shook away these thoughts, not entirely comfortable with their implications.

Sesshoumaru was thankfully interrupted by Kagome's return to speech.

"Well, how's this for sharp observation? Nowadays, when I see that 'expressionless' look, I know to check your eyes for any emotion. When I think you might be upset, I check to see if your eyes narrow. When you are surprised, they widen slightly. If I think you are, um, not entirely discontent with the situation at hand (she grinned), your eyes get a little bit softer." Kagome turned to Sesshoumaru for a reaction.

He was surprised that she evidently watched him so closely. He was also surprised and concerned that she could read him so well. Maybe he should work on his 'expressionless' face.

"Hn," he said, gathering his thoughts, "We have learned to co-exist peacefully as companions. Perhaps we can learn to adjust our memories to achieve further perfection."

Kagome laughed outright. "Further perfection, huh? Well, think of it as a challenge. My memories suggest that you like those."

She laughed again as he narrowed his eyes at her.


End file.
